That was my first such encounter, but it wasn’t my last. True to the ultimatum, I never saw them again. I remember sitting on the front stoop, shaking from adrenaline and guilt, until I saw my mom’s Ford Explorer pull around the bend. She continued to berate me as I walked back down to the main house. Blogger Sophie Coffey reflects on why that is, and why the conversation about moving on can be so hard. Get out I never want to see you again.” Saying goodbye to one barn and heading for another can feel like breaking up, even when there are no value judgments or bad feelings involved. I was in the outdoor ring laughing about someone chocolate chipping a jump when the farm’s owner and matriarch, who we all just called Granny, walked up to the fence line, looked at me, and shouted out, “What is she doing here?!” We all stopped and stared as she continued to yell, “How dare you come back here. So I went back to the barn that Saturday to tell everyone the news and say some goodbyes. The guilt I felt at leaving what I considered to be family lessened a little bit when I heard that small consolation.
She listened to me as I cried and explained that it just wasn’t working out for me and my horse anymore, and that my mom wanted us to try another option, and that I loved her and everyone there so much, and could I please please still come and visit and see everyone now and then? She gave me a hug and said, yes, of course, the doors were always open. When I was 12 years old, I told my trainer that I needed to move barns.
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